AptIsle

No where in particular. That's why it's not an excuse as to why I've been totally absent from this blog. I really don't have any explanation other than the fact that I realized after several posts that I didn't want to be some asshole with a shitty-ass blog detailing every last detail about his or her life. But lately I realized two things:

1) I'm really bored.
2) My blog is actually cool. (Oppositely, see link above).

Something tells me if I continued the posts, I would have actually had a readership. But, hey I didn't. So it looks like I'm going to have to start over. The blog's the same: hard to find trivia, maybe something funny. So to all of you who took a glance at this blog and realized that there hasn't been a post in almost over a year...well you're probably not reading this now, but to all of you new people, hey I ain't going anywhere.

You've probably heard by now about some DJ named Dangermouse who remixed Jay Z's The Black Album with The Beatles The White Album to get The Grey Album. This isn't exactly hard to find information. In fact, if you googled "dangermouse grey album," you'd get 7,630 results. What's interesting though is that, for some reason, a track listing of The Grey Album is hard to find. Some would assume that it's just the same as Jay Z's original work: this is wrong. So, here's the "official" (as deemed by downloading the whole album and researching it) track listing of The Grey Album:

1. Public Service Announcement

2. What More Can I Say

3. Encore

4. December 4th

5. 99 Problems

6. Dirt Off Your Shoulder

7. Moment of Clarity

8. Change Clothes

9. Allure

10. Justify My Thug

11. Interlude

12. My 1st Song

Note that's there's not a 13th track called "EMI" as some would like you to believe. That's just a little "fuck you" concerning the cease and desist order from EMI that DangerMouse received.

So we went to the bar last night and this dude that we don't like calls us up on his cell phone and asks what we're doing. So now I bet you're thinking, "Well if you don't like him, why don't you just blow him off?" Well here's my breakdown of the situation for you:

• We don't like him.


• We're not girls.


• So we told him to fuck off (literally).


• But this kid doesn't care--at all. He just wants to go out (which I almost admire him for [almost])

So after the "Fuck off" response, he says "Okay, fine. I'm just coming over and you're going to have to deal with me." Listen, we're not about to ruin our night because of it, and so we went out trying to have a good time.

In the middle of drinking he says "Ok, I gotta take a dump" (in a bar mind you) and leaves his cell phone on the table. Ok, so put yourself in our shoes: three guys who don't like this guy, who leaves his cell phone on the table--we're making international calls. After a quick moral debate as to whether this was tantamount to stealing (the fun factor caused us to overwhelmingly vote "No"), we then began a debate as to what was the single most expensive country to call. If we were going to do this, we were going to do this right. I, along with another buddy of mine, suggested North Korea. The other guy suggested some small tropical island, like Tonga.

So what is the most expensive country to call? Searching a bit online, I finally found a list of country codes by price from our good friends at Cornell Computing Services (read: they are not our friends--just like that kid taking a dump). I've posted them, sorted by price.. Number one on the list? Inmarsat, at $7.39/minute. Now you'll ask yourself is, where the hell is Inmarsat? No, what the hell is Inmarsat. Inmarsat is a global satellite service provider. So it's not a country. The most expensive country to call is a mobile phone in Kuwait, costing you a pretty $1.45/minute. As for North Korea? 93.5¢/minute. Tonga? $1.35/minute. So I guess our buddy was right. Lack of infrastructure beat political isolation.

So which country did we call? We ended up calling China, because I knew the country code (086) at a paltry 19.5¢/minute.

So the next time this kid calls and asks to go out, we'll know who to call on his phone when he takes a dump--someone with an Inmarsat satellite phone.

My friend's a huge Pats fan--and consequently bought a Terry Glenn jersey.

Following a huge contract dispute where he was eventually traded to the packers my friend became so disgusted at the guy that he wanted to get rid of his jersey. But he's not just going to get rid of a brand new jersey--no way. So instead, he decided to convert it: he was going to replace Glenn's name on the back with the last player to wear Glenn's number: 88. So who was it? After a little searching (read a solid hour of wasted time) I found that it was in fact this guy: Hart Lee Dykes. Who the hell is Hart Lee Dykes? Drafted in 1989 by the Pats, Dykes (what a name) played for two wonderful years before a barroom eye injury. One of his more memorable instances was with his college team, the Oklahoma State Cowboys, rather than with the Pats. After rushing for over 3,000 yards during his college career, Dykes ratted out his alma mater in exchange for immunity concerning improper benefits. Now, he lives back in his hometown of Bay City, TX.

And if I had a digital camera, I'd show you my friend's "renovated throwback jersey."

Who's Jeremy Zawodny? I'll tell you who Jeremy Zawodny is: Jeremy Zawodny is the coolest guy on the face of the earth, except for ninjas. Jeremy Zawodny is so cool, that not only did he get to test GMail as mentioned earlier, but he invited me to beta-test GMail. That's right: I am now a GMail beta-tester. To more accurately describe my joy, listen to this. Oh, and I have a made a shrine to Mr. Jeremy Zawodny, both on this page (see the blog link on the right hand side) and here. Jeremy's in there somewhere...

I honestly don't know why I'm so excited about GMail. It's not even the 1gb thing--it's the conversation posts. A lot of people are confused by it, but I know exactly how I'd use mine. It's exactly what I need. I'm dying to try it out, but apparently it's only limited to a select group of beta testers.

Then, the other day, I hear they're giving away gmail accounts to active bloggers, like this dude Jeremy. Now, I know I'm new at this, but I'm "active." So this is a plea to the people at google testing services:

Here I am, blogging away for a gmail account. I'd be amazed if it wasn't a script based on rank, or something similar, but in case it's a real life human being who looks at these things and determines who's worthy, hear my cry: I need a fresh email account. I need it to be gmail. I'll beta test it until it's gamma. I'll gamma test it until it's delta. Just, come on, give me a gmail invite. I feel like that kid in grade school who nobody likes and is hesitant about inviting to their birthday party. Listen, I'm not this kid. I'm cool. So I should get to play with the cool kids. Go GMail Go.

That was officially the saddest and most pathetic thing anyone has ever done. Except this.

You may be wondering what the name AptIsle means. You also may have better things to do. For those of you who do have better things to do, why are you reading this blog? For those of you who don't have better things to do, here is an explanation. The definition of "apt" and "isle" are below:

• apt (apt), adj. 1. disposed; prone. 2. likely 3. being quick to learn; bright 4. suited to the purpose or occasion [1350-1400; ME (< AF) < L]


• isle (il) n., v., isled, isl-ing--n 1. a small island. 2. any island --v.t. 3. to make into or as if into an isle. 4. to place on or as if on an isle. [1250-1300; ME i(s)le < OF < L insula]

This is brought to you by the Random House Webster's College Dictionary.


So what does this mean? That I'm "disposed to making into or as into an isle"? That AptIsle is "likely a small island"? The truth is, AptIsle is just two completely random words strung together. I did it in order to get a handle that I could guarantee no one else would use. Sure it lacks meaning. But what the hell do I care? I've never signed up for a service with "AptIsle" and been rejected. Beat that with your ˆĤΔčĸëЯ˛ or nsync69.

Since this is the first blog, it makes sense to explain why this blog is being created. There are thousands upon thousands of blogs out there: why this one? The reason? Interestingly enough, the reason this blog is being created is the same as the effect of the creation of other blogs: the duplication of information. Amazingly, there is still information that is difficult to find on the internet. Searching for such valuable morsels, one often turns up with one or two only partially satisfactory results. What this blog hopes to accomplish is merely the duplication of this hard to find information in order to make it...easier to find. And oh, I'll post some personal shit too 'cause I know you're all nosy whores (wouldn't this, however, make me the whore? After all, I'm posting the information about my life. I'm prostituting my personal information for your pleasure.) Hmmm...